@awordforaword

*sets up 10 security questions for online account*

*clicks on “remember me”*

@awordforaword

“Are you listening to understand or to be right?”

~ sometimes pretending to listen results in unexpected mutiple choice questions

@awordforaword

“Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving”

“Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids”

@awordforaword

I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than “you’re out of batteries”

@awordforaword

*men apologize for their weakness*

*women apologize for their strength*

*aliens probe neither*

@awordforaword

Doesn’t get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner.

Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner.

@awordforaword

If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff