When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”
Trying to impress the doctor by telling her I don’t need a prescription to get Xanax.
Calling out sick from work and then showing up anyway to establish dominance and confuse my enemies.
When the doctor asks about my sex life.
I love my job at Amazon. At first I thought that wearing a catheter to work to avoid bathroom breaks was unreasonable, but after several sessions of deep hypnosis with the company therapist I’ve come to realize that the catheter is just a part of my body—a body of the future.
Lmao
