My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy. It’s one part rum, three parts pum.
Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let’s ruin both at once.
Maybe don’t show me a picture if you don’t want me to rate your baby.
Stick around after sticking around after the Thor 2 credits. Very realistic 3D of a theater manager telling you to leave.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
Can we still see the Grand Canyon from the air or has the government put a giant tarp over it?
No thanks, Trix cereal. I have enough drama in my life without a rabbit trying to steal my breakfast.
Between Man of Steel, This Is The End, and Pacific Rim, I’ve seen around 5 billion people die this summer. A personal best.
One horribly inappropriate comment and you’ll never be shown another baby photo at work ever again. Totally worth it.
Man of Steel question. When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be? Liberace?
There’s no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I’ll just go for it.
URGENT! IF MY BOSS ASKS YOU IF IT’S REALLY “NATIONAL THROW YOUR COFFEE AT YOUR BOSS DAY” PLEASE SAY YES.
Walk into a random building, go to a random floor, step into a random meeting, and take a donut. Best donut you’ll ever eat.
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye.” Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party.
“And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails.”