Friend: You’re Catholic?
Me: Yes
F: And you eat meat on Fridays?
M: I can guarantee if I’m going to hell it’s not for eating meat on Fridays
Every time I see a jogger that looks like they’re just about to pass out from running I always think, “Do they know they don’t need to be jogging?”
I’m 35 and have never been divorced!!!
I’ve never been married either but at this age you have to focus on the good parts.
First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you’re Italian.
(I can say this cause I’m Italian.)