“It’s too late. You can’t stop it now.”
– Every villain in every single movie moments before the hero stops them now
Dear Diary,
I fear for my sanity. Just today I started talking to a blank book.
Not everything is a competition and I bet I’m better at accepting that then you are!
Someone just quote tweeted me to call me pretentious, but they misspelled it. I’d correct them but…
Looking forward to Keanu Reeves making improvements to his home in the upcoming
Matrix: Renovations
Coffee in the morning
More coffee at night
Coffee in the afternoon
Unless you wanna fight
Coffee in the morning
More coffee at night
Coffee in the afternoon
Unless you wanna fight
Coffee in the morning
More coffee at night
Coffee in the afternoon
Unless you wanna fight
Baby will you be my friend with benefits cause I have an upcoming procedure and don’t have health insurance.
Jesus. But make it not Jesus and not fashion.
Her: “Oh my God! Where did you learn to do that with your tongue?
Me: “Cadbury eggs.”
I would correct your grammar but you don’t use any.
When I’m angry I drink more coffee. That way I’m still angry but I also have to poop.
My diet starts in January
of 2027
Mr. Darcy: “You have bewitched me, body and soul.”
Wicked Witch of the West: “That’s kinda what I do. Now please dismount the monkey.”