Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
When my wife sends me to the grocery store solo with a specific list I am not allowed to improvise. That was made clear when I got home.
Ugly sweater day at work. I’m wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying “ugh, please, this old thing.”
No, I’m not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn’t remove the pit from the avocado, that’s between us.
Milk prices could reach as high as $8/gallon soon & at those prices I’m giving everyone the OK to cry if you spill some.
A wireless bra? They weren’t tricky enough, now I need a password?
I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I’m lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles.