Indiana Jones & the hopscotch of doom.
Positives about working from home:
– There’s no commute.
– I can talk to the cat all day.Negatives about working from home:
– I don’t leave the house
– I’ve started talking to the cat.
Sharon, call the vet
If Nostradamus had been any good he’d have called his book of prophecies ‘Predictive Text’.
Doc: So, where does it hurt?
Pirate: In me chest, I think its me hearty.
If you want to know what cereal you don’t have ask one of the kids what they want for breakfast.
Cop: There’s been another break in at the bakery.
Swan: I wouldn’t know anything about it.
Cop: *hands him a bread roll*
Swan: Word at the pond is that ducks did it, but you didn’t hear it from me.
Dr: Check his vital signs.
Nurse: He’s got 4G coverage & his battery’s at 60%
Ok. Seriously, stop feeding the gulls.
Me: Have you ever tasted cat food?
Interviewer: No, I meant questions about the job.
[creating seals]
Angel: It’s been a long day, how about just one more thing?
God: Give that dog a wetsuit & lets go the pub.
I think long & hard before using innuendo.
Just the best dancing sandwiches.
This is your captain speaking. Those of you on the right side of the plane may have noticed 3 pyramids. This is 3 more than we were expecting to see in Barcelona. Anyway, does anyone have google maps?
[creating pandas]
Angel: How about a cute looking bear thats shit at sex?
God: Make it black & white we’re running low on colours.