Sneezed so hard I think I pulled an ovary
Once you realize most planets take about a billion years to stabilize in their orbits, you’ll feel much better about yourself
English is crazy we’ve got silent g’s, p’s, h’s, mimes, c’s… where does the madness stop?
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, “ma’am, it’s 100 degrees out here, and you don’t have a proper refrigeration system in place, so we’re gonna have to shut you down”