@blahdevivre

ME: I’d give anything to talk with my dad again
(my dad’s ghost appears)
DAD: Hey son
ME: Dad!
DAD:
ME:
DAD:
ME:
DAD:
ME:
DAD: So uh… do you wanna talk to your mother now
ME: yeah ok
DAD: good talking to you
ME: you too dad

@blahdevivre

WIFE: I’m leaving you

CARL (my personal sound effects guy): *makes sad trombone sound*

ME: Is it because of-

WIFE: yes it’s because of Carl

@blahdevivre

INTERVIEWER: It says here you can’t read
ME: thanks what else does it say

@blahdevivre

(three days later, in the shower)
STORMTROOPER: *slaps forehead* omg those WERE the droids I was looking for

@blahdevivre

ME: I think human cloning is a big mistake

ALSO ME: ok wow, I’m right here