“Wow, Awesome costume.”
“Step out of the vehicle, sir.”
I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film
Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
Mick Jagger: “Hey you, get off of my cloud.”
Scotsman: “Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe.”
Sure. Why not?
At my age I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.
If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.
Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.
Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?
