Before crowbars crows drank alone
The easiest way to burn fat is cremation.
Beautiful day in Ohio. Went out for a run but I was back home in a couple of minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m old and fat and can’t run for more than two minutes. if that.
TV and movies would have you believe that there are way more people crawling around in ventilation ducts than there actually are.
My three favorite things are eating my wife and not using punctuation
Pharaohs were buried with their hands across their chest because of an ancient belief that there would be countless water slides in the after life.
Fred Flintstone drove by this morning
Dang, my 250 million year old salt has expired
The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.
Raisins are grape jerky.
Raisins are grape jerky.
Wookiees don’t smoke, they chewbacca.
Never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.
Also, don’t go clothes shopping when you’re naked.
If Jesus was from Nazareth, why does he have a Mexican name?