Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of brennadine's best tweets

@brennadine : Morning sickness, but instead of being pregnant you just find mornings repulsive.

@brennadine: [Cat outside bathroom door]
LET ME IN
LET ME IN
LET ME IN
I'M DYIIIIING
Oh
Hi there
Thanks for letting me-
I'm bored
I want out
LET ME OUT

@brennadine: It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.

@brennadine: One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.

@brennadine: Thought it would be romantic to recreate the 12 Days of Christmas, but having 23 game birds indoors is actually a hellish nightmare.

@brennadine: Pavlov's bell, but it's me reading an email that I think says winebar when it's actually webinar.

@brennadine: Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping.

@brennadine: Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment.

@brennadine: How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Step 1: Stop wearing other people's skin

@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."