DID YOU KNOW: If you don’t eat animal products, you will take it out on everyone else forever?
If she says “I’m fine” that means she’s fine and you can keep playing Xbox
And I don’t want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn’t cold, save it for the elves, Santa
Judging by the tweets, you guys all lead really interesting lies
Superpower: giving evildoers the hiccups, then on day 23, you throw them off a building but by that point they’re just sobbing “thank you”
“Is there a Mrs. Prime?” — EVERY GIRL TRANSFORMER EVER, I MEAN LOOK AT HIM