If you need me I’ll be in a weird mood.
If it weren’t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
Everyone complains about the weather but noone’s sacrificing a virgin to change it either.
Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
Good for you when one door closes & another door opens. For the rest of us that usually means we’re in jail.