@calluptome

If it weren’t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

@calluptome

Everyone complains about the weather but noone’s sacrificing a virgin to change it either.

@calluptome

Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them.

@calluptome

We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.

@calluptome

The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”

@calluptome

Good for you when one door closes & another door opens. For the rest of us that usually means we’re in jail.