I’ve decided to become one of those super relatable twitter accounts. Folks, dontcha just hate it when you drop cob of corn and it rolls out your open front door and people are calling you all day going “I saw your corn”
Turtles often outlive their owners, a fact the police refuse to treat as suspicious
[A montage of me flailing because I walked into a spiders web, with larger and larger crowds, until I am at the karate championships]