Breaking News. Apple is to buy Ireland to solve the debt problem. It will be rebranded iLand
breaking news! ufo caught on tape!!!!!
God said: ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything
on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan”
I have started a band called Free Beer.
When people see our sign ‘Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM’ I’m sure everyone is going to be there.
A salesman knocked on my door today.
“Who currently provides your Internet?” he asked.
I said, “My next door neighbour.”
I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she’d show me a good time.
When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds.
Piers Morgan has taken a very strong stance against guns, and who can blame him?
If you had a gun, you’d shoot him too.
Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they’d broken one of my keyboard keys.
I onder hich one.
Whatisthelongbuttonatthebottomofthekeyboardfor?
I’ve just renamed my WiFi network to “Police Surveillance Van #02”.
That should keep my pikey neighbours on their toes for a while.
Few people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts.
His name was Frank
I was so busy yesterday, my smart phone had 75% battery left at the end of the day.
I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal.
He asked me to pay in advance.
Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.
Why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery.
All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!