An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria.
Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam.
I can’t see those guns made on 3D printers catching on.
If HP make the cartridges, it will be cheaper to buy an AK-47.
My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed.
So I’ve sent in my wedding album.
I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: ‘Enter Juliet from the rear’
Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.
“He looks just like his grandfather” is a cute thing said about a new baby in most parts of the world. In Alabama,it’s more of an accusation
I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, “Is he on standby?”
Illegal immigration is not a new problem. Native Americans used to call it “White People”
Me: If we weren’t related, I’d totally sleep with you. Hot girl: But we aren’t related. Me: Oh good, so you feel the same way too
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
USA lose graciously to Belgium in the World Cup. Obama says no hard feelings & any drones heading towards Belgium are nothing to worry about
A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
What’s the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round.
My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, “Who else would I cheat on?”