hey, alexa
A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.
#CoronaOutbreak
kitchen magnet
clark kent’s honeymoon starts on a down note
The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.”
I replied, “Well, tell him he’s bloody good – I ain’t got any kids!”
Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro’s grave..
Must be a communist plot.
mountain lion attacks are on the rise. especially in california. be prepared!
Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn’t want to waste time on things that don’t matter.
He runs Facebook.
If you go to jail for tax evasion, you are living off taxes for not paying taxes.
japanese corn
Burglars broke into Kanye West’s home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
#math
knights of the ikea table
“Wanna hear a joke?”
“Alright then.”
“What’s the difference between a toilet and a fridge?”
“I don’t know,”
“You’re disgusting.”