On this day eleven years ago, Greece won Euro 2004.
Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros.
“Must you lick the knife?”
“Sorry,force of habit” I said “Loads of people do it though, don’t they?”
“Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor”
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth.I woke up half an hour later and my whole house was on the internet
Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.
Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn’t work. The dog probably just thinks,
“Awesome, now we’re both barking.”
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood
What’s large, black and steals your credit cards?
Sony Playstation
News: IKEA pledges 1 billion euros to help slow climate change.
But knowing IKEA, it will take forever to put the money together.
Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
I found a cure for my debilitating cancer. I dumped her and started to see a capricorn instead.
A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for “hardcore poem”?
I saw a sign that said “Watch for children”
I thought to myself “That sounds like a fair trade”
live long and prosper!
If homosexuals come out of the closet, do necrophiliacs come out of the casket?