Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.
I tried memorizing the names of British currency but after a while, I quid trying.
Me: Porcelain. Earthenware. Stoneware. Ball Clay.
Wife: What are you doing?
Me: Reciting pottery.
I began speaking English with a French intonation after a fender bender. Well, I guess accents will happen.
I planned to graduate camping school but I failed tent grade.
I’m closing my pizza parlor. The Board of Health revoked my slicense.
When I withdrew cash from the ATM, it asked what denominations I wanted so I chose Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian.
My daughter is serious about a guy she fell in love with at the zoo. She says he’s a keeper.
I was served a subpoena. I distinctly remember ordering a cheeseburger.
I’ve been walking on eggshells at work lately. My employer claims it’s cheaper than installing new carpeting.
Ordered a book about trees from my library. It’s on root.
The Dalai Lama prefers quiet restaurants in order to find dinner peace.
Your preoccupation with Hugh Jackman, Hugh Grant and Hugh Laurie is irritating. Why do you have to make everything about Hugh?
I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.
Due to traffic, I didn’t show up on time for the start of my wife’s art opening and so for the rest of the evening she introduced me as her late husband.