blacksmith: hey, so I’ve finished welding those fruity soda cans together like you asked.
me: Fantastick.
the word: Mildew
my brain: Mother In Law Dew
me: man, this is great! I only wish I’d taken up deadlifting sooner
Funeral Home Director: please leave.
guy about to invent the cheese grater: you know what I hate? knuckles.
me: *making sandcastles with my sister*
my mom: *takes away the urn*
bitcoin? isn’t that how people checked if gold was real?