Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge.
Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom …
WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book where every single story ends in malignant cancer
If you look in the mirror & say “pumpkin spice latte” 3x a white suburban girl will appear & tell you everything she loves about the fall
It should be a rule that if you’re going to put you kid on a leash, you can’t be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them