Say sliders to drugs
Say no to yes
You saw nothing. I am ham.
Aw man, but that’s the best part
“Teaching sex ed in school will only make kids want to have sex“ yeah right, I had math in school and it really made me wanna math hard all the time
So glad we cleared that up
[first day in hell]
Satan: WELCOME TO ETERNAL HELLFIRE!
Me: ugh, thank god, my feet are freezing
Satan: HAHAH- what?
Me: *cuddling under a burning blanket* so cozy
Satan: wait, where did you get the hot cocoa?
Disney made such a big deal of kissing dead people. I kissed one dead person and now I’m no longer allowed at the morgue
Then it should stop looking so damn comfortable
“Are… are you sure you know what an elephant looks like?“
“Of course, why do you ask?“
You’ll use a different oven for the pizza, right? RIGHT?
Oh, I bet you would be
Oh thank god, you wouldn’t want your kid to ruin family booze night
Nomnomnomnom
This Taco Bell rebranding sounds interesting
Harsh but fair
