We like knowing who the fastest person on earth is.
We don’t know why, or how this information will be useful, but we like to know it all the same.
Secretly the cops in Gotham City must be like “Seriously, Batman, if you want to use guns, none of us mind. We’re all cool with it”.
Why don’t people who are good at tarot cards just switch to blackjack?
Spanish is easily the sexiest language. Everyone should want to learn it. You can say you need to take a shit in Spanish and it sounds sexy.
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to speak to the manager.
Everyone hates big pharma until they have a headache.
Please don’t get vaccinated. There’s way too many of you.
You can’t please me, you’re not the long straight block in Tetris.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Musical.
If they cancel the Simpsons we will no longer be able to see into the future
I haven’t cried since 1997, when I saw the movie Armageddon and realised Ben Affleck was going to be a big movie star.
We had TikTok when I was a kid, except it was called ‘Funniest Home Video Show’, and everyone agreed that 30 minutes once a week was quite enough of it.
I’m in good enough shape to be turned into a vampire now.
This is the dumbest end of the world ever.
I’m texting this to random phone numbers with no message
