Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of clichedout's best tweets

@clichedout : SOCIETY: if it's sent by car let's call it a shipment

ME: what if it's sent by ship

SOCIETY: we'll call that cargo

@clichedout: WAITER: you can choose between 5 potato options and a salad

ME: [leaning in] the 5 potato options please

@clichedout: robbed a bank just to hear someone call me a person of interest

@clichedout: HER: I love classic rock

ME: [trying to impress] I've been to the Grand Canyon

@clichedout: girl: i love philosophy

me: who is ur favorite philosopher

girl: Hume

me: sorry, whom is ur favorite philosopher

@clichedout: her: i'm going to a concert

me: to see who

her: Bad English

me: sorry, to see whom

@clichedout: waiter: how did u find your meal sir?

me: i... i looked down

@clichedout: me: one taco plz

"Bro, this is Subway"

me: sorry [leaning in] one footlong taco plz

@clichedout: me: I'd like 2 copies of Math For Dummies

cashier: they're $5 a piece

me: [sweating profusely] here's $47.00

@clichedout: her: when we go to Hawaii let's ride a dolphin

me:

her:

me: i'm taking a plane, Karen