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Page of clichedout's best tweets

@clichedout : friend: how do u meet girls

me: I find the hottest grandma at the nursing home

friend:

me: I wait for her granddaughter to visit

friend: haha clever

me: then ask if her grandma is single

@clichedout: her: does an apple a day really keep the doctor away

me: *flicks cigarette butt* u ever seen a horse at the ER Karen

@clichedout: Welcome to backhanded compliment club, it's so nice meeting people who don't care how they look

@clichedout: her: what's up

me: i'm in my car driving

her: cool where

me: in the front seat

her: no like what location

me: driver's side

@clichedout: me: *offering joint* wanna hit

giraffe:

me: nvm ur already high lol

[later]

scientist: first time we've seen a giraffe eat a human

@clichedout: me: I'd like to withdraw 100K

banker: from which account

me: like whoever has the most

@clichedout: [being murdered]

me: this is free, right?

@clichedout: society: mothers get their very own day

me: what about sharks?

society: they get a whole week

@clichedout: nurse: how do u rate ur pain

me: zero stars

nurse:

me: would not recommend

@clichedout: me: wanna hear a joke about a guy who questions everything

her: sure

me: why