Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Mirror: I said no.
Interviewer: What is your greatest weak…
Me: NO PATIENCE.
A fun game is to put on an orange vest and direct traffic.
It would be magical for babies and toddlers to fly with animals. In that part of the plane.
Grandma used the same wrapping paper for 25 years, so don’t tell me about the great ‘bargain’ you found.
Senator Clinton, what will you do now?
Hillary: Divorce Bill.
*gets whistled at, but by traffic cop
Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses.
*helping son with math problem*
JUST WRITE 75 GODDAMMIT!
*finally detangles ear buds