It feels like Duolingo is giving me writing prompts for a very specific story
Let me just slip into something a little more comfortable *comes back wearing a wizard costume*
Me trying to make small talk with my new co-workers
Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can’t help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.
I like my men like I like my coffee: encouraging my bowel movements
“I want the box where I poop to smell like my poop or else I won’t want to poop there. Whoa whoa, not THAT much like my poop! Jesus!” – cats