@comes_night

My grandma didn’t want to share her recipes so she put them in an empty book called sex over 65.

@comes_night

I’m not attached.

Me writing to my crush: Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’

@comes_night

Corona showed me that if the world truly was ending, Disneyland would still be open.

@comes_night

Me: it’s the year 2200. You are dead and forgotten.

Guy: I meant what’s our future, damn.

@comes_night

Do you ever think hell is full and so the rest of us came back then made a twitter account?