@copymama

When a copywriter is asked to make a headline “punchier,” that’s both a description of what the requester wants and how they make us feel.

@copymama

Virtual learning silver lining: When your kids don’t leave the house all day, you can go longer without bathing them.

@copymama

There has been a pencil case on the landing of my staircase for a week now. I notice it every time I go up or downstairs, but vowed not to pick it up just to see if someone else would.

There will be a Covid vaccine before this pencil case gets moved.

@copymama

My 10yo rejected a pair of socks because she could “feel the polka dots” if you’re wondering what the girl from The Princess and the Pea is up to these days.

@copymama

Welcome to parenthood. Your refrigerator is now a graveyard of your kids’ half-finished drinks.

@copymama

Me: *Does one 30-second Google search for giraffe pictures to use in a joke I’m texting someone*
Pinterest email: HERE ARE 48 BOARDS OF GIRAFFES YOU MIGHT ENJOY BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A GIRAFFE FANATIC

@copymama

I’m no psychic, but I can tell you that your kid is never going to finish that half-eaten cup of ice cream you put in the freezer.

@copymama

Welcome to parenting. Here is your collection of markers that have run out of ink, which you will inexplicably hold onto for a minimum of 2 years.

@copymama

My daughter’s principal made a surprise visit to every 5th grader’s house to hand out “class of 2020” bags, t-shirts, and beach towels.

Let me tell you, you haven’t lived until you’ve stood in your doorway braless in pajamas chatting with your kid’s principal.

@copymama

Welcome to homeschooling. Your house has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.