@cravin4: [Attorney's office]
*checked box for cremation*
*signed last will and testament*
Guess I just made an ash out of myself.
Wife: *rolls eyes*
Did he also sign the DNR?
@cravin4: Autocorrect got me in trouble again when I invited the neighbors over for a friendly game of Go Fist.
@cravin4: Little known fact:
If you eat a Tide POD™ you will poop out the secret of how to fold a fitted sheet.
@cravin4: Soccer moms drinking from sports bottles. You're not fooling anyone, we know you have wine in there and you should share.
@cravin4: Went over todo list for fishing vaca, Noticed wife put "WTF" aside "B Plug".
Had to explain, the "Boat Plug" keeps the water out of the boat
@cravin4: Sorry Taco Bell, but I came up with the Naked Chicken Chalupa before you did. Well actually Ambien did & I'm still banned from Taco Bell.