@cravin4

You must first feel comfortable in someone else’s skin before you can feel comfortable in your own.

–Psycho Therapy

@cravin4

Not to brag but I just completed my resolution from 1987.

*correctly programs VCR*

@cravin4

If you ever find a partially eaten grilled cheese sandwich at my house call the police.

@cravin4

My Car would not run, neighbor said it was a problem with the stringy thing..Took it to a Quantum Mechanic and he disagreed w string theory

@cravin4

I dreamt I was getting attacked by a bike repeatedly.

It was a vicious cycle.

@cravin4

There is no such thing as bad cheese there is only bad people who didn’t eat the cheese fast enough.

@cravin4

Today my battery went dead on my car key so I had to manually unlock it like the pioneers did.

@cravin4

My wife does this cute thing now & then where she goes out shopping for next years yard sale items.

@cravin4

Things I dipped in Nutella this weekend:

Animal Crackers
Pretzels
Strawberries
finger
Feelings

@cravin4

My wife asked if I wanted to go to a pig roast this summer but I’ve been fat shamed enough already this year.