Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@curlymalloy : Do men in Antarctica wake~up with morning popsicle???
@curlymalloy: Those stupid stress balls don't work!!!... I just ate one, and it got stuck in my throat... And now, I'm more stressed than before!!!
@curlymalloy: Him: Why are you going in circles???
Me: I'm buffering!!!
@curlymalloy: Shit, I just wasted a good corn dog, by eating It with no guys around.
@curlymalloy: When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
@curlymalloy: An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!
@curlymalloy: My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!
@curlymalloy: Why are they giving Lance Armstrong a hard time about doping???... Going to the moon is very scary shit!!!
@curlymalloy: I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!