@daniel_shaw

I act like Pacman at parties.

I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.

@daniel_shaw

Personal trainer said we’re going to try some dips today.

I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.

@daniel_shaw

If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.

@daniel_shaw

Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they’re all like “we need to talk.”