“What do you like to do in your free time?”
Golf.
“Oh that’s cool. When’s the last time you played?”
8 years ago.
When I die, I want to be buried in a random field without a casket or teeth, so I can be an unsolved mystery one day.
Me: Are you mad at me?
Wife: Eventually.
Me at 18: I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Me at 34: If I don’t get some sleep, I’m going to die.