I hate it when someone says “here’s the thing…” and then doesn’t give me a thing.
Grew up in a neighborhood so tough, all the kids put onions in their ‘no tears’ shampoo.
No one is my co-pilot; that seat’s for my snacks.
Danger is my middle name. My parents were idiots.
Of course I believe in science, like how jelly grows inside donuts.
Why buy the cow when you can get milk from almonds?
A double negative is a big no-no.
Sharks have to keep moving so their creditors can’t find them.
If eating at night is bad for you, they shouldn’t have put a light in the sky.
It’s a painting of dogs playing poker because cats would’ve just knocked all the cards off the table.