Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.
I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.
Maybe your grandma covered her furniture in plastic because she was a murderer. You don’t know for sure.
Crying is a sign of leakness.
I told him to drive me crazy in the bedroom, so he put the window blinds at different heights.
My kind of messy bun is cinnamon.
Small blessings, like when the mirror fogs up and you can’t see yourself when you get out of the shower, naked.
When one door closes, a child soon appears, knocking, asking for a snack.
The secret to my impressive dance moves? Spider webs.
It’s easy to blind someone with science. All you need is a good throwing arm, the proper wind direction, and a little sulfuric acid.
Godzilla was the first house flipper.
I drive with my hands at ten and two, but they’re crossed.
Maybe your grandma covered her furniture in plastic because she was a murderer. You don’t know for sure.
Turned the other cheek and found the tv remote.