Dating Tips
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5.Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs.
Weird, started flirting in this bar and for some reason 4 guys just killed themselves.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
I would like to be a zombie because when someone asked me if I had a boyfriend I could just eat them.
I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don’t think it’s weird when I have jam in my hair.
My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
WELL WELL WELL, if it isn’t the lady who’s baby I stole.
Sharks don’t like the taste of human flesh, which must mean they are drama queens who only eat people for attention.
Awww it’s cute how your baby pulls my hair. Like she doesn’t realise I will pull hers right back.
I think some of you need an exorcism not an intervention.
Of course you can trust me with your secret.
*Calls local news team
Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn’t burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.
It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are.
Preposterous.
I swear babe, I’m a virgin, it must be a miracle.
*Joseph rolls eyes
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.