Below Deck sounds like a way of discreetly describing a condition to my doc
The worst place to be quote tweeted…Divorce Papers
When my wife is mad at me, I like to straighten our wedding picture on the wall and say “for better or worse.”
My kids have been helping our neighbors in their garden and now I’m having Children of the Corn flashbacks.
My wife bought me gym shorts like I’m gonna run to the kitchen for some more nachos.
In high school I wrote my crush a love note and signed it messy like a doctor, she loved it but thought it was my friend’s name.
Thanks to me they’ve been married for 17 years.
My wife says the kids look just like their father…
…and if I ever find out who he is, he’s got some explaining to do
[watching The Notebook]
Her: Noah wrote Allie a letter every day for a year
Me: I bet each one just said, Hey