husband: do you know where the thing is
me: could I buy a noun
A haunted house but it’s just people making different mouth noises in every room
My 6yo told me his classmate has a pet wolf, and it’s giving him some ideas about our current pet situation
The same fruit bar has been going back and forth in my kid’s lunch for so long that at this point it’s load-bearing
Hey babe, are you my 47th open browser tab, because you are not responding
This lunch pairs well with watching 9 minutes of a tv show
Taking a little nap while I wait for the driver in front of me to realize the light has turned green
Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing
My kid told me that school today was “bad” and “sooo boring” and all because a teacher said he wasn’t allowed to catch lizards at recess
My 6yo announced from the bathroom that he has good news and bad news, how scared should I be
I wish I loved anything as much as the previous owners of our house loved using a label maker
My 8yo made breakfast* for himself and his younger brother, and I’m so proud
*opened popsicles
Found out I can’t run the air fryer, toaster, and microwave at the same time, but on the plus side I’m pretty sure I took a screenshot of the kitchen
Save money by sending the same unopened applesauce cup in your kid’s lunch all week, follow me for more financial tips
me: I’m sorry, I just don’t have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you
dinner ingredients: