Please don’t make me choose pickup or delivery to see your online menu, I just want to practice my drive-thru order
My kid just told me he needs to take 120 of something to school tomorrow, so his choices are cheerios or my tears
My kid is playing doctor and so far he’s thrown a stuffed animal at my knee, poked my arm with a stick, and asked if I like to climb trees. But I get to lie down, so best game ever
My kid asking me to put on some terrible youtube channel
Does it…does it take 3 days
*in the car*
7yo: I can count to 100,000
5yo: oh yeah, then do it
me: no
No one:
My kid at 6am: if we plant a sausage maybe we can grow a sausage tree
School email said if we shop at a certain store a potion will be donated, and that sounds way more exciting than money
me: wow you sure are playing hard to get
after-school appointment at my kid’s dentist: *blushes* oh you
My kid made up a song that goes “I love you and would do anything for you except clean” like some kind of 7yo Meat Loaf
I just want the confidence of a youtuber who suddenly thinks they can sing
I was wondering why so many houses on zillow had the same ugly carpeting. Reader, I clicked on the same house multiple times.
My kids made a mixture of snow, corn chex, chocolate chips, and apple slices on the kitchen floor so now I need a new house
Why does this look like one of the ingredients is painkillers
Sorry we’re late, my kid thought he couldn’t go to school with hiccups