Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting
What wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying a day longer than I thought
kids: *having a rough day*
air-conditioning: *broken*
me: *sweaty and irritated*
underwire bra: would be a shame if something were to suddenly…snap
The 6yo told my husband to be a dear, which seemed weirdly old-fashioned until I realized it was deer and he wanted to attack him with a toy cheetah
My oldest kid had a little art show this morning, and not to be out done, my youngest did a performance piece entitled: lying on the floor of the art show and refusing to get up
Discovered my husband thinks the candy is called “whoopers” and I may never recover from this
4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt
me: same
4yo: *blows whistle again*
my kid: I’m so hungry, I’ve never been hungrier, I could eat a horse, no wait I could eat a house, I need food right now
me: ok what do you want
my kid: you have to guess
My kid is playing Santa and told me to pretend to sleep, and I’m just glad he finally came up with a game I can win
When you know it’s a French word but you can’t quite remember which one
Ok I just need to think like a 39-year-old
-my 6yo, trying to find the Halloween candy I hid
Still thinking about a student I had years ago who asked if a paper was due at 4pm or 4am
My kid can’t remember if it’s “heck” or “hell” that he’s not supposed to say in school, so he’s been switching between them both and I’ll just go ahead and pencil in a meeting with his teacher now
I don’t think it’s real blood, it looks like red paint
-my kid, examining the plastic ax that came with his Halloween costume
me: what did you have for snack at preschool today?
4yo: well it was a munching thing and it looked like a square taco but it wasn’t a chocolate cookie
me: