Not to brag, but my kid asked me to guess an animal that starts with “komodo dra-” and I got it in one try
My kid set up a play office then kicked me out so he could have a meeting, which…I mean…fair enough
4: mom, [6] said if I eat my broccoli he’ll give me a prize, will you give me a prize too?
me: well, being healthy and strong is a good prize
4: no
Kid 1: *super tired, falls asleep early*
Me: *gets hopes up for easy bedtime*
Kid 2: *hold my espresso*
bank teller: I can’t read this note, it’s in cursive
bank robber: *angry boomer noises*
Can’t leave this facebook group because someone has raccoons living under their bathtub and now I’m invested in how it plays out
Adulting, but it’s just me reminding my kid every day which grown-up words he shouldn’t say in kindergarten
ad: this vacuum cleans the worst messes
toddler: hold my cheerios
toddler: *drops cheerios*
Saw “45 mins” at the top of a food blog and at this point I just assume that’s how long it will take me to get to the actual recipe
My 3yo just realized that when he’s an adult he can drive himself to get donuts and he’s gonna need a minute
Me: *about to go into a meeting*
My anxiety: you pronounce “template” weird
To bye at an auction you should bid adieu
Hey, want to be best friends again?
-6, eyeing the birthday gifts that 4 just opened
Actually, I want to be a robot for Halloween
-my 3 yo, just before noon, October 31
Have kids, they said
