My 8yo made breakfast* for himself and his younger brother, and I’m so proud
*opened popsicles
Found out I can’t run the air fryer, toaster, and microwave at the same time, but on the plus side I’m pretty sure I took a screenshot of the kitchen
Save money by sending the same unopened applesauce cup in your kid’s lunch all week, follow me for more financial tips
me: I’m sorry, I just don’t have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you
dinner ingredients:
Deciding which personality is going to respond to an email
My kid invented a game but told me it was too complicated and I wouldn’t understand. Reader, he is throwing a stuffed animal repeatedly in the air and catching it
Bye, have a great day. I’ll see you after school, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch
The next person to ring the doorbell on a Saturday trying to sell something will be subjected to my 6yo’s full lecture on lizards, and let me warn you, it’s long
*Hour 3 in the trampoline park*
My oldest has said “watch this” 212 times
My youngest is running wild in a pack of feral six-year-olds
A woman screams in the distance “Jaden, Jaxon”
There is still no bar
The grocery store accidentally included chlorine tablets in our order, we don’t have a pool so I guess the kids are getting extra clean in the bath tonight
Me: I’m not old
My phone flashlight that’s been on for an hour for no reason:
Nothing scarier than your husband taking the kids to Petco “just to look” then texting you “we got a surprise”
My 6yo was mad I wouldn’t get him the puppy popsicles
We don’t have a dog
Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant
Got stuck in a long line at the store but at least I got to hear the guy behind me tell his friend all about his goats escaping and coming back pregnant