valentines day should involve piñatas so single people can vent and still get candy lmao
if u put a disguise on a cow then legally the cow is incowgnito
i talk a lot of shit for someone thats only 80% sure minions arent real
me: *gets vaccinated*
friend: now u can come to my wedd-
me: *gets unvaccinated*
stop telling me to be the bigger person giants are shunned in our society
i finally learned that stocks are the birds that deliver ur baby so follow me for more finance tips
Women: I need a man that can open pickle jars and kill spiders
Me: *Opens a jar of spiders* Did I do this right?