[alternate universe]
Aladdin: 🎵 The Exact Same World🎵
I tried being a Disney Princess but them damn budgies keep loading the dishwasher wrong
I like men with glasses because once they come off everything is a little blurry and I’m very okay with that
If your Tetris high score doesn’t excite me, you’re not loading my dishwasher
My 6yo just told me that because I need music to get motivated that makes me ‘radioactive’
People are waiting for flying cars and I’m just waiting for my supermarket to install cup holders on trolleys so I can have tea while I shop
Me: *gets comfortable*
Life: Just one more thing …
Him: So, it cost me my life savings and all my inheritance but you’re worth it, I booked us a trip on Virgin Galactic
Me: Umm…when I said I wanted space…
One of my biggest fears is going to America and asking for a biscuit only to be presented with some weird scone type thing and gravy
My dinosaur expert child just schooled me
Me: What’s the difference between the diplodocus and the brachiosaurus?
5yo: They have different names
All parents have a favourite child
Good parents pretend they don’t
Great parents at least make it one of their own
Overheard:
5yo : you think I’m ugly
6yo: a little bit yes, but mostly no