If a demon ever tried to possess me my first thought would be: enjoy that debilitating anxiety my dude.
Mulder: it’s some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure.
Scully: we’re at the mall, Mulder. That’s just Santa.
I love how insurance companies offer “accident forgiveness” like they’re some sort of ancient deity pardoning your existence.
Ichabod Crane in the streets the headless horseman in the sheets
My arc would have been filled with wolves. I would have made a terrible Noah.
No one wants to talk about Dracula’s defining quality, turning into thousands of bats to avoid human contact.
Mulder: we’re trapped with ghosts in the stomach of a metal worm.
Scully: those are just people, Mulder. We’re on a train.
There’s never enough good news
Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there’s history.
I can’t wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory.
Dear diary, although he was a malevolent killer, the headless horseman was really well dressed. My emotions about this are confusing.
Hungover? Hydrate. Depressed? Hydrate. Want to make a good first impression on others? Hydrate.
Remember, your toilet is just afraid of you as you are of it.
For a gentleman, Shakespeare really knew how to spread those thy’s.
The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.