Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us
@dougbies : I got kicked out of another Super Bowl party for changing the channel to Forensic Files
@dougbies: Breakfast: 200 calories
Lunch: 500 calories
Dinner: 800 calories
Snack before bed: 15,000 calories
@dougbies: Apparently “my brain hurts” isn’t a legit reason to leave work early
@dougbies: Is it proper etiquette to place your phone to the left or right of your silverware at the dinner table?
@dougbies: There’s no gangsta way to pull on a push door
@dougbies: BILLION DOLLAR IDEA
A giant cinnamon roll that you sleep in, that becomes warm and edible when it's time to wake up
@dougbies: My phone died, so I was forced to "print" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days
@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings
@dougbies: I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like
@dougbies: All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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