My phone refuses to recognize that Transatlanticism is a word. Do you know how hard it is to get through that word without predictive text. And I talk about Transatlanticism a LOT
Thinking about getting real into bonsai trees. It seems like an expensive hobby that I’ll lose interest in almost immediately, which is right in my wheelhouse
Drove by an SUV limo parked on somebody’s front lawn with a “For Sale” sign. Who is buying a random limo on a whim
*watching Goodfellas for the first time* These fellas are morally grey at BEST
Aliens? Wake me up when something important happens, like a new pasta shape
Oh wow Linda the pizza here “isn’t even close” to what you had studying abroad in Rome? The pizza at this airport Sbarro’s isn’t doing it for you? I am shocked
I like when candies have offseasons, like Easter is the Super Bowl of Cadbury Crème Eggs and then the eggs go rest up for training camp
British people never go down stairs they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins
I’ve been teaching the orcas how to sink boats. Soon I will ride one into battle and take my rightful position as lord of the seas right after I learn how to open my eyes underwater
I don’t wanna be an alpha male or a beta male. I wanna be an armadillo so when I’m stressed I can just @ and roll away from my problems
When people say “what do you want, a cookie?” It’s like yeah. That would be great. Would help my mood immensely
“Bad actors” is a wild term because it could mean when the government is doing war crimes but it could also just mean Jared Leto
My 3-year old daughter said “Daddy I love you” and when I was responding “thanks I love you too” she interrupted me to be like “also I love EVERYTHING.” I’m on the same level as an air fryer
There’s a tiktok ad I keep seeing that’s like “STOP SPENDING $200 ON SUNGLASSES.” Ok done. Easiest task I’ve ever been given
I’ve never “hopped on a call.” I’ve trudged begrudgingly towards my webcam like a prisoner walking the plank