I hate corporate lingo. Stuff like “core competency” or “design out the problem” or “I’m gonna need you to go ahead and do some work today”
People who incessantly go on and on about replacing things that taste good with quinoa, please stop
I was pretty sure you were the wrong kind of crazy. Then you used “luckfully” in a tweet and removed all doubt.
I’m pretty sure the rule at Starbucks is the slowest employee makes the drinks
*at a restaurant*
Don’t be awkward, don’t be awkward
Waitress: how’s the food?
She thinks I drink all day when she’s at work. I don’t… I stop just before she gets home