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Page of dubstep4dads's best tweets

@dubstep4dads : just having fun

@dubstep4dads: [i drop my costco card in front of a hot girl] haha WOOPS! accident. yeah i have a costco membership. not really a big deal tbh

@dubstep4dads: LADIES imagine this,

its 15 years from now. your son is up to bat. your daughter is cheering him on in the stands. your husband is nowhere to be found, you start to worry he’ll miss the game. suddenly, a tiny red convertible pulls up on the field. its your husband, Stuart Little

@dubstep4dads: parents: a large old man with white hair is going to break into the house while you’re sleeping and give you toys

kids: oh worddddd

@dubstep4dads: i find it kind of funny / i find it kind of sad / the dreams i have most often are weird picnics with my Dad

@dubstep4dads: [on my deathbed]
me: a....ah.....
wife: what is it!! what are you trying to say?
me: ah...... alexa...... play despacito

@dubstep4dads: [girl accidentally runs me over with her car]
me, crushed under her tire: haha soooo like what are we

@dubstep4dads: met this girl online and we've been talking for a few weeks... what yall think? 😏😏

@dubstep4dads: JIM: I've got an idea. Let's call this place "Jimadelphia"

[PHIL is creeping up from behind with a crowbar]

@dubstep4dads: me: what do u mean my friend cant come in
bouncer: theres no way hes 21
me: but-
stuart little: dude its fine lets just go