If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because at least 70 million are on record as having no brain
Positive vibes only, she says from the couch where she watches murder documentaries all day
The Real Housewives franchise would be better if the season troublemaker got thrown in a volcano
You can’t force me to watch your ads. YouTube. I will look away and plug my ears
My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice
Birds are UFOs if you are not a birdwatcher
If there’s karaoke or no karaoke I’m not going
Laura Dern was born 35, she was 35 in Jurassic Park and she’s still 35 today
He asked me to do something freaky in the bedroom so I stayed awake for two days
If you try to teach me a lesson I will flunk on purpose, how dare you
I followed you because you’re hot
-Mosquitoes
Whoever named He-Man was doing the very least
Why does body wash have directions, it’s literally the name
Job interviews be like what’s your biggest weakness, ummm I don’t have a job bro
Sure Romeo & Juliet is a great love story but have you heard Sk8er Boi?